Torment
by SantanaAnna
Summary: Victoria Grayson is a Hampton socialite and she appears to be perfect. However, darkness haunts this beauty queen and torment runs deep in her veins. When the emotional torture becomes too much she takes actions into her own hands, and her husband, Conrad discovers a shocking scene.
1. Tragedy

Victoria Grayson is flawless. She can make a room light up, her friendly laugh, glittering eyes, and beautiful smile are enough to make any body like her. No one would ever be able to guess that she was a victim of emotional distress. As she stared out of the frosted glass of her living room window in to the cold winter morning, she had never felt more alone and alone was something she felt very often. Victoria came to a realization in that very moment as she watched the sparking snow fall to the ground. She was on her own. Completely and with that thought her mind spun around. Gears that usually drove her were unable to form a proper thought, and so her heart broke. It broke into a million pieces because she knows that loving anyone be her kids or Conrad is impossible. Victoria is strong, but even the strongest of people are unable to avoid the inevitable truth. She is dying. And die she must. Her eyes clouded with the dust of a life gone by. The happy times she had in her life, surrounded by joy and relieved of frustration and darkness. It was almost like she has never lived it. Like she has never experienced real joy and real love. Like no man ever actually thought she was beautiful, or if they did it was because they wanted her for their own vanity, their own selfish pride. She hates what she has become. She hates that when she looks in the mirror she just wants to kill herself out of pure anger and out of the thought that she's just not good enough... for anyone. She could just see it now, her limp body hanging from her closet door. Or blood everywhere as she lay unconscious on her bed with gashes in her wrists a shiny blade thrown askew next to her dying person. Who would come running, she thought. Who would cry over her deceased body begging her to come back? Who would shake her until their arms were sore, and heart and given up? No one she thought. No one at all.

She could vaguely hear footsteps behind her as she tried to piece herself back together. Which at this point was hard to do. Soon enough the footsteps stopped at a scuff.

"Well dear. It looks like you could use some company." It was Conrad. Of course it was Conrad. Victoria rolled her eyes, glittering with tears. Turning around to answer him was not something she was about to do. Why? Because she knows for a fact that he would never come running.

"No Conrad. That's the last thing I need right now." Victoria responded direct and dignified. She was just not in the mood.

Conrad walked into Victoria's room without a care in the world. He always did. It never crossed his conceited mind that one day his wife might not be there to dish out his daily dose of hell on. But before he could say anything he saw Victoria on her bed with an empty shiny orange bottle clasped gently her hand. Her eyelids were closed delicately, both hands placed on her stomach in a restful position. It took his ignorant brain to piece the puzzle together but after a few silent moments he figured it out. He wasn't that stupid.

With that Conrad dropped to his knees desperate to wake the fallen brunette. He took her limp body by the shoulders and shook her. "Victoria!" He screamed. "Victoria, what have you done?!" He screamed more, his tormented cries echoing through the mansion walls. How does it feel now, to watch it burn?

The, oh so familiar sounds of the hospital lingered in Conrad's broken mind as he attempted to compose a legitimate thought. How long had he been there? Minutes? Hours? Days? He actually had no concept of any of those things at the moment, and feared he never would again. Why did she do this he thought. She hadn't even left a note. She hadn't even said goodbye, or stated a feeling.

"Mr. Grayson?" Conrad shot up, this was the moment of truth. "Well… Mr. Grayson… it's a miracle." Conrad seemed to sigh and laugh at the same time, out of joy, anger, and relief. "She's ok?" The doctor tilted his head to the side formulating an appropriate response. "Ok… isn't exactly the way I would put it." The doctor paused, hoping that Conrad wouldn't ask any more questions yet knowing that wasn't the truth.

"Your wife took approximately 30 tablets of Prozac. This is serious. Your wife was a second away from passing. She's actually a miracle."

A smile graced Conrad's face. He knew it. She was a fighter.


	2. Cartier

Conrad was hesitant about entering the hospital room. Out of the corner his eye he saw Victoria's body, just lying there, subdued. The doctor had told him that she would be unconscious for a while, they didn't know exactly how long. But the pain of not knowing how she was or why she did what he did broke his heart.

Conrad's steps lingered as he eased his way into the shiny, white room. His eyes immediately placed themselves on Victoria. She looked aloof, like she was somewhere else. A cathedral he hoped. He walked over to her and traced his hand down her soft face. It was the only time she didn't resist him. Conrad let out a heavy sigh filled with regret. He put his sweaty hands over his face. What if she had died? What if he found her 3 minutes too late? What if he had to plan her funeral? It was inevitable that his life was filled with what ifs. With second guessing. With pain and not knowing what was going to come next. Life was an open door and no one knew what was on the other side, especially Conrad.

When he looked at her, all he could feel was anger. He sat down in a chair next to her and held her hand. Just because he was mad at her, didn't mean that he didn't want to be there for her.

After a few hours of sitting and staring at his wife's condition, he lifted up her hand with ease and gazed at her engagement ring. It sparkled and glistened under the florescent hospital lights. The ring just didn't look right. It looked placed, like it didn't belong on her tiny finger. He slid it off with a heavy heart and held it in his hand and examined it. White gold band, with a 8 carat diamond placed in the middle. It was simple but beautiful. Finally Conrad slid the ring in the pocket of his Armani suit. He clasped Victoria's hand and left the hospital room. He needed to leave from her life as she needed to leave from his.

Conrad was emotionally exhausted, he didn't know if it was because of what Victoria did to herself, or if it was initiative. Either was he was strained and didn't know what to do.

There it was. Cartier. The place where he went so many times for gifts for Victoria. This was it. This is what he had to do.


	3. Always

Conrad smiled as he walked in to the jewelry store. It smelled like wealth and desperation. He was immediately reminded of Victoria. The display case glistened under the show lights and the diamonds that were contained inside reflected like a million of tiny mirrors. He was always mesmerized in this store. Always. "Mr. Grayson! It's a pleasure to see you back in our store." The familiar chipper voice came from a middle aged woman named Marissa who had been assisting Conrad in buying jewelry for Victoria for over 20 years. "Umm. Hi Marissa." Conrad was obviously distraught. "Can I show you our new collection from France, the line is absolutely stunning and I think a lot of pieces fit Victoria's style?" Marissa kindness and sincerety stung Conrad in the heart. He only wished he was there to buy a gift for Victoria. "No Marissa… uh. I need to sell thi-." And just like that Conrad was absolutely in awe. Right in front of him in glistening glass lay a single ring. Well it wasn't just a ring… it was magic. An emerald as big as 8 carrats surrounded by white diamonds sat in a rose gold setting. The band holding the setting was encrusted with black diamonds. It was stunning. Marissa noticed Conrad eyeing it, "Ah, the Dahlia. That's quite a ring. Only one of them exists in the states." Conrad smiled, "How much?" It was usually a questioned asked. "Well, due to the rarity, and the quality… 1.5 million." Conrad was relieved he thought it would be much more. "I'll take it."

1 month later, when Conrad returned to the hospital early one morning, Victoria was awake. Everyone said that it was a "miracle from god" it was a catholic hospital after all. The doctors laughed with joy as they discussed Victoria's victory. This was a first. Conrad couldn't have asked to see Victoria soon enough. When he saw her state he was taken aback. She looked absolutely beautiful. Long luscious curls falling around her shoulders. She looked almost like she had been absolutely fine the past month and not in a coma. Conrad couldn't have rushed to her sooner. He immediately grabbed her hand.

"How are you feeling sweetheart?"

Victoria repositioned herself as if uncomfortable with his presence. "Fine."

Conrad knew that she didn't want him there and he could sense that there was still a tension between the two of them. "Well I'm so happy that you're awake. I was so sick with worry." And with that Conrad turned around and left. Again. He didn't know what he was hoping for really. I guess there was a ray of hope that he still had for their relationship. He had always just expected her to feel the same. Deep inside.

"You have one hell of a husband Mrs. Grayson." The nurse said

"That's debatable." Victoria responded coldly.

"All I can say is that I've never seen devotion like that in my 20 years of nursing."

Victoria was overly confused, "What do you mean?"

"Well, Mr. Grayson hardly ever left your side for the whole month you were in that coma… I actually think that he slept here every night… with the exeption of late night of course."

Victoria was entranced, "tell me more."

The nurse shrugged, "there's not much more to tell other than the fact that he would stay up late holding your hand… just looking at you. It's very easy to see that this man is completely in love with you."

Victoria's mouth wavered _completely in love with me_ she thought.


	4. The Speech

Victoria made her way through the French doors of the manor. Her Jimmy Choo heals clicked on the black and white marble as she entered her home. It wasn't that she didn't want to be home, but that same spot in her heart where her castle used to lie was gone. It seemed almost foreign. The house was completely empty. Charlotte was taking care of Carl with Declan, and Daniel was god knows where. Conrad returned shortly after parking his Mercedes and eased into the manor. "Well Vic, is it good to be home?" Victoria gave a vague smile, still remembering what her nurse had told her. "I suppose." Victoria turned from her husband and ascended up the grand staircase to her bedroom. There was going to be a party that night at the manor to celebrate Victoria's well being and recovery. This was actually the last thing she had wanted, but Conrad insisted saying that this would help his campaign greatly, and put a positive spin on their family values. Victoria had reluctantly agreed. Anything to help his campaign, she thought sarcastically.

Thankfully Vera Wang had sent Victoria a new dress to wear to the benefit after hearing about the tragedy surrounding the brunette princess. Victoria admired the black dress in the mirror. The bodice was encrusted with swavroski crystals and the chiffon skirt started at the waist. It was a high-low so it showed of her soft legs slightly, but it wasn't too slutty. With it, she wore red patent leather Manolos. She looked stunning. Her glossy curls cascaded over her shoulders and ended on her mid back. She was certainly a heart breaker.

Victoria was keeping herself in her room for as long as she could. She dreaded going downstairs and greeting a house of unwanted guests. Thankfully her absence wasn't missed too much due to the entertainment Conrad supplied, assuring people his wife was "just about ready." Finally Victoria made her way to the top of the stairs looking down at the party, there must have been 200 people there. The lights lining the railing reflected off of her dress making her illuminate like an angel. Once she started walking down the stairs the whole room seemed to stop talking and just stare at her. Conrad was among those people. When he saw her, his breath got caught in his throat. His eyes started to glisten with tears, which he managed to blink away. _She has to be the most perfect human in the world_ he thought to himself. Conrad made his way over to the landing of the stairs prepared to take his wife's hand in his. And she did. She took his hand, and he kissed her on the cheek, which made Victoria slightly uncomfortable especially with the recent thought that Conrad might actually have feelings for her.

The evening was actually quite dull. As usual all of the desperate Hamptonite woman giggled and gossiped about each others husbands having affairs, and the men talked business. Nothing was out of the ordinary that night. Victoria; however did not engage in the discussions of the most burning topics, she just sat alone at a table with a scotch. All of the sudden the speakers went on and everyone's attention was turned to the makeshift stage where the band had been playing. Now instead of the band was Conrad. Yes, he was giving a speech.

"As you all know, we are here to celebrate Victoria's victory in overcoming her illness." Victoria was already sickened, this was just going to be another speech with lies and deceit.

"I know I can speak for everyone when I say that we are overly pleased to have Victoria back in our lives, in the way that she always has been. Don't want to make this a long speech, but I wanted to tell Victoria that we all care about her." Victoria smiled fakely as she pretended to be moved by Conrad's words.

"I would however love for Victoria to come up here for a second, if you would darling?" Was he serious? Victoria just grinned and bared it, and she walked through the packed crowd and gracefully walked on to the stage. This was ridiculous she thought.

"Victoria, I'm hoping this could be symbol of our strong relationship" Conrad took a black velvet box out of his pocket and opened it. Inside was a glistening emerald. Victoria involuntarily gasped. It was a beautiful piece of jewelry. Without asking her Conrad took it out of the box, took her hand and slipped it on her finger where her engagement ring used to lie. Victoria hadn't even noticed it wasn't there until that moment. Victoria admired her hand as the jewel shone in the light. She loved it. Involuntary she leaned in to kiss Conrad. There lips met within a second for a quick kiss, and Conrad pulled Victoria into his arms and hugged her with all of his might. Yes. This was going to be a long night.


	5. Comfort

Conrad stood on Victoria's balcony and gazes out at the ocean. It was quiet, finally. The party had been a smashing success, and everyone had left with smiles plastered on their faces wishing Victoria well. He couldn't help but think of the day he remarried Victoria. Nothing in the world seemed to have existed. In that moment it was just him and Victoria, and that was all that mattered. That was all that ever mattered to him. Out of the blue the sound of Jimmy Choos on the marble floor, awoken his tormented thoughts.

"Well Conrad, that party was a success." Victoria let a small smile on her face.

"As are all of our parties my dear." Conrad never seemed sincere when he spoke. It was one of the many qualities Victoria wished would change.

"Do you like the ring?"

Victoria rolled her eyes, "What woman wouldn't?"

Conrad let a small laugh out of his lips. He was not amused by Victoria's decorum.

"I'm glad." The same sarcastic tone graced his voice.

"Well, what are you doing in my bedroom, Conrad? Is there something you wish to speak about?"

Conrad was annoyed, but her question brought up a valid point. What was he doing in her room? For whatever reason, he just wanted to be with her, he didn't know why. It was almost as if he was trying to make up for lost time. But he did know one thing, as his beautiful wife gazed into his soul looking for an answer he only had one response.

"No, just saying goodnight… I was just leaving." Conrad began to walk out of the room, not making eye contact with his wife, because he knew that if he did he would do something stupid. Conrad stopped at the door and all that rushed through his one sided mind was how foolish it would be to walk out of that room. He whirled around to meet Victoria's despondent gaze, smiled and carried on.

3 months later…

Conrad was at his office working late. Exhausted. The only thing he could think about was his wife. the phone rang awakening his sane mind and putting his thoughts to sleep.

"This is Conrad Grayson" he answered groggily.

All he could hear on the other line was sniffles, and crying.

"Hello?" He asked again

"Conrad." It was Victoria and she couldn't seem to even form a cohesive sentence.

"Victoria? Are you alright?" He was worried.

"Conrad do you remember when we got married and you promised that you wouldn't let me be lonely. Well… I'm really lonely and… I don't even know why I'm telling you this." Victoria let out a small laugh through her tears. "I guess I just really want someone to be with me…and…and to tell me it's going to be ok…because sometimes I think that it isn't going to be ok. What I'm saying is that I really need you here with me right now. Please." Conrad's eyes began to stray to the picture of her on his desk. "please" she whispered again.

…

Conrad rushed into the manor as fast as he could to find Victoria incapacitated sitting on the stairs. She was sobbing into her hands and didn't even aknowledge Conrad's presence. He rushed up to where she was sitting and took her into his arms. Conrad's arms wrapped completely around her tiny body. Victoria sobbed into his shirt as he attempted to calm her down. "Shh. Victoria its ok. Darling, please don't cry." No matter what he said she remained the same. He had never seen her this way, and all he could draw his mind to was the night he found her limp body lying in her bed with a bottle of pills, and it killed him. He buried his face in her neck and rubbed her back. Victoria's sobs were hushed as he rocked her in his arms. For the next 5 minutes they stood there. Completely interrupted. Alone. Change was coming.


End file.
